


Full Frontal Collision

by Adora2723



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: 5x17, Angst, F/F, Fix-It, Fix-It of Sorts, Lena Luthor Knows Kara Danvers Is Supergirl, Lena Luthor Needs a Hug, Lena Luthor in a suit, Slow Burn, if you know you know, third chapter will be an ode to the lace top
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-05-06
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:47:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24007606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adora2723/pseuds/Adora2723
Summary: This is from Lena's pov after she 'offers up her sympathies' to Kara.Sort of. It kinda ran away from me.
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 5
Kudos: 87





	1. Chapter 1

Her heels clicked on the polished office floor. The sound echoing eerily in the empty bullpen normally filled with buzzing workers and ringing phones. Usually, Lena welcomed emptiness. The cold comfort of loneliness offering a special shelter you only learned to appreciate by coming back from betrayal. Again. And Again. And Again.

Today, the emptiness sat heavy in the back of her throat. Or maybe it was the apology she forced herself to spit out. But she didn’t really have to force anything did she? Lena saw Kara standing there, looking so completely unlike herself. Withdrawn. Sad. So it was inevitable really - a split-second decision - to go after her.

And she’d imagined it, too. What it would be like if, **when** , they reunited. She’d stay cold, indifferent at first. Lay out all her logical reasoning, reasonably. She’d confront Kara and tell her that she knew, all along. That she wanted to use her, like she’d been used by Supergirl, by Kara, by everyone. How much it _hurt_.

And Kara would realise. Kara would see the huge mistake she’s made and apologise, and beg, and yearn for her forgiveness. She’d have to have valid reasons, too. That she was trying to protect Lena (Everybody else knew, too. Were they not in danger?). That she did not know _how_ after so many years (so many opportunities - Lena could name four off the top of her head). That she did not want to lose her (and _that_ Lena understood).

And she would forgive her. Not completely. Not immediately. But eventually. Fully. She’d tell her side of things and Kara would say her part and she’d repent and they would cry and then they would hug and from the sobbing, crumpled mess on the floor they would rise - like a phoenix from the ashes - their new-born friendship stronger then ever.

But Lena didn’t stay calm and Supergirl didn’t repent. Lena said how she’d been hurt, and really, she wasn’t yelling because she was mad but because she was sad. And hurt. Heartbroken. And she didn’t want to inflict pain, not physical at least. It’s just that she felt so _alone_ for the longest time. Alone in her grief. Alone in her fight. Alone in her hurt. That just this once, with this person that meant the world to her, she wanted to share that experience. After all, Kara and Lena shared everything together: their laughter and time, their love and their food, their joy and sadness. And now Lena was realising that she might be all alone, after all. Alone in this home she made in Kara. So if nothing else was real, her hurt certainly was. And if Kara could just experience the same hurt she inflicted on Lena then she might understand.

But Kara did not. She seemed distraught, yes. But who’s to say it wasn’t just another act? And at any rate, love and hate go together and if you feel hurt that implies you felt _something_ in the first place. And Kara just did not.

She is not proud of what happened after. But that was the moment her heart quite literally shattered. Lena is not one for theatrics so when she says it literally shattered then she felt the grief, and hurt, and sadness burst out of the former constraints of her heart. And the wake of the explosion left her with trembling knees, glistening eyes, and a shrouded mind.

So she fled.

She didn’t have time to pick up the pieces when Kara started serving blow after blow. Hologram-projecting into Lex’s secret lab to distract her, while Alex bugged her system and even had enough time to point a lethal weapon in space to pulverise her at a moments notice.

Trying with fake-sentiments, and fake-apologies, and fake-tears. Not even trying with real-I’m sorries, and please forgive me’s and I miss you a lots. Not even trying as Kara. Real or fake.

It took a while but she eventually was back to her former self. _Former_ , former that is. A Lena pre-Kara. She’d patched up her heart with duct-tape. Filled up the holes with the cement of loneliness, and supported the fragile structure with pillars made of boxes. She’d lived that way before and she could do it again but it felt different this time. More hollow somehow. The duct-tape wasn’t sticking, and the cement was runny, and the pillars kept falling over because the boxes were full to burst.

And then Kara called her a villain. And she tried to ignore it. And then Kara didn’t even come back to apologise. And she tried to ignore that, too. And then Kara’s dad died. And she couldn’t.

Because as much as she liked to think that there wasn’t a single honest moment in their friendship, in her heart of hearts Lena knows that’s not true. Because she felt it and she knows Kara felt it, too. Because still, after everything, Kara is the only person who really _knows_ her. And she knows Kara. And now Supergirl, too.

And she remembers early on in their friendship - when their meetings were still new and tentative - even then she connected to Kara on a deeper level. And when Kara talked about how she should visit Lillian in prison because at least she could still talk to her, Lena felt Kara’s pain in her own heart. And Supergirl lost everything.

And it is with a sudden realisation that Lena remembers meeting Kara’s mom. Back when Sam was still here, and now she’s hurting for different reasons. She’s hurting because she misses Sam, but that is a box she buried deep down and she can’t possibly unpack right now because everything will topple over. She’s hurting because Kara found her mom again - after believing she died along with everybody else - and she didn’t even mention it to Lena with even one word. If Lena found out that her mother was somehow, miraculously, alive again Kara would have been the first to know.  
She would have ran into her open arms and sobbingly collapsed in her embrace. But Kara didn’t. Because she couldn’t. And that must have hurt, too.

Maybe.

Possibly.

Maybe Kara wanted to tell Lena but she didn’t know how and that’s why she came to Lena as Kara on that same evening, even more sunny and smiley than usual, and hugged her for a minute straight. Lena was taken aback by the force of her love but stayed and relished in the warmth of it. Asked her what had her grinning like a Cheshire cat and laughed when Kara said _just because_ and gave her a kiss on the cheek before leaving as quickly as she came.

And she was hurting for Kara, because Kara lost that, too. She lost her mom again, after just getting her back. Her whole planet. And now she’s just hurting for herself, for Kara, for what they had. For what they used to be. And more than anything she just _misses_ her. And she should be the bigger person now. Because it’s Kara. She said she would be there for her. Because it’s Kara. And because it’s Kara she followed her through that empty office to where she is sitting now, head bent, at her desk.

The half-formed apology stuck in her throat is the only thing keeping down a full-blown love confession. She wouldn’t even know where to start with that. Hasn’t even confronted herself with its full implications. It comes out anyway:

“Kara.”

It’s a bit of a blur after that. She wants to say so many thing but somehow ends up saying the most stupidest things. 3 PhDs? She shouldn’t even have graduated kindergarten. But Lena tries. Tries to find that connection again. Tries to find that uptick of Kara’s smile that Lena could always pull from her. Tries to find that spark of love in Kara’s eyes that always used to be there.

But Kara’s not even meeting her eyes. And maybe it’s too late. The easy warmth and blanket of friendship is gone and Lena finds herself trembling in the cold of the empty bullpen. It’s an unusually dark and dreary day for National City and the comfort of the sun’s warm rays is sorely missed. Everything dulls. So Lena leaves. Her heels clicking loudly in the empty office as she makes her way back to the elevator. Hoping that the loud echoes drown out her blaring thoughts aching to be set free. Desperately hoping Kara comes after her. Wishing she would see her gesture as the olive branch it is and just...

But as the elevator doors open with a loud ding, Lena spares one last glance over her shoulder at Kara. Their eyes meet. She goes to say something. Anything. She opens her mouth, inhales and Kara turns her face away from her. Lena exhales. Her shoulders slump. She’s stepping into the elevator, back turned, doors closing.

“Lena, wait!”


	2. Chapter 2

“Lena, wait!”

Suddenly, the lift is drenched in light. A hand on her shoulder and warmth all around her. She turns.

“Don’t go just yet... don’t... just.”

Kara is breathing heavy. A great feat for a Kryptonian that doesn’t need oxygen. It’s clear she sprinted over from her desk. Just in the nick of time and now she’s standing in front of Lena in all her glory, shoulders heaving, intensely staring. She grips Lena’s arms with both her hands. Unnecessary, really. Her gaze is already pinning Lena to the spot and she couldn’t move even if she wanted to.

The doors close. They’re both in.  
Everything stands still but their hearts are racing. Even Kara’s, Lena can feel it. Can Kryptonian hearts race? She never really paid it any mind. Not Kara’s heart, no she thought about that a lot, but her actual physical heartbeat. It feels like she can feel it thrumming through her bones. Carried through over Kara’s arms and into her own. Beating, and beating, and each beat leaving behind an imprint on her body. She wishes she could see it. Have physical proof of Kara’s impact on her. So she could show it to her. A physical manifestation of their connection. So Kara would know what she does to her- And Oh God, Kara can surely hear her heart going bonkers. She needs to rectify this immediately. She parts her lips to speak but before she can, Kara is filling the void between her lips with her own. Kara is kissing her. She pulled Lena towards her with a steel-like grip on her sleeves and is now deliciously molding their lips and bodies together to get rid of even the tiniest space between them.

Kara kisses her and Lena can’t help but kiss her back. It starts out relatively sweetly. After the initial force of their collision Kara softens her approach. The explosive momentum slowly gives way to gentle caresses of lips and tender strokes of thumbs against cheeks. Kara pulls back slightly, only to come back again. A little softer each time. She slowly guides her back until Lena’s back hits the wall of the elevator. She groans as the bar attached to the wall pokes her uncomfortably in the back. Kara tightens her grip around Lena and diverts her kisses to Lena’s cheeks. Softly kissing each side once for luck, then descending down her neck. Lips ghosting along the way blowing tenderly on heated skin. Then suddenly stopping. Kissing then sucking. And Lena moans. Knows exactly what Kara is doing. Kara kisses the same spot once, then twice, moves slightly down to lick up a path to the skin she just kissed. 

And Lena had caught Kara staring at the freckle on her neck a couple times before. Always felt self-conscious about it. She would clear her throat and cover her neck and Kara would look away blushing. But this time Kara is not diverting her focus. She aims to draw that sound again from Lena. Succeeds. Revels in it. Lena grips Kara’s head with on hand. Desperate to pull her away and end this exquisite torture. Desperate to keep her locked so it never stops. Kara is planting loving bites all over her neck with every sound and every shiver she draws from Lena. One hand forcefully planted on the wall, next to Lena’s body, keeping her trembling knees from giving in. 

She’s just about to ascend again when the elevator dings and starts descending. They spring apart, still too close but now frantically taking stock of their smeared lipsticks and skewed dresses. Lena pats down her hair and Kara pulls her blazer back on properly. They part just in time for the elevator doors to open up to an empty room except for Andrea Rojas. 

If Lena’s heart was pounding before, it has now flatlined like a race car losing control and driving face first into a brick wall. Explosive impact. Frontal collision.


End file.
